This one is a little deep, so pay attention!
As the captain of your company, you are constantly navigating through various challenges and decisions.
Have you ever considered which version of yourself is taking the wheel in those critical moments?
Every decision carries the imprint of your internal narrative, and understanding which ego state influences your choices is crucial. My colleague, Brent Charleton, introduced a powerful tool he calls the Core Issue Matrix. This matrix delves into four fundamental issues – Worth, Safety, Perfection, and Needs – and categorizes them based on three ego states: Wounded Child, Adapted Teenager, and Functional Adult.
Let's break down this transformative ego matrix:
Core Issue | Wounded Child | Adapted Teenager | Functional Adult |
Worth | Less Than | Better Than | Equal Worth |
Safety | Exposed | Closed | Protects and Contains |
Perfection | Defective | Perfect | Realistic |
Needs | ​Needy | Needless | Aware of Needs and Wants |
Sample Scenario: You lead a team on a critical, time-sensitive project. A team member consistently misses deadlines, affecting overall progress.
Your inner self as a :
Wounded Child: Addressing the team member feels overwhelming, fearing exposure of leadership vulnerabilities. The prospect of being perceived as 'Less Than' and the discomfort of potential conflict paralyze you.
Adapted Teenager: Frustration builds as you ponder the team member's repeated failures. You close yourself off, believing you're 'Better Than' dealing with their shortcomings. Thoughts like, "I shouldn't have to deal with this; they should get it right" may surface.
Functional Adult: Recognizing the gravity, you acknowledge the team member's impact on the project. Despite the discomfort and a desire to avoid conflict, you assume the role of a responsible leader. Understanding your worth isn't solely tied to your performance; you adopt a grounded approach, addressing project imperfections for the collective good.
By consciously shifting to the Functional Adult ego state, you take charge, address the problem, and lead your team toward success despite the challenges.
This may seem like a nerdy exercise, but engaging in it significantly impacts your decision-making and leadership.
After all, understanding the captain within can lead your ship to new horizons of success.
As always, I'm here to help you get ridiculously loyal customers, so give me a shout! I'd love to hear from you!